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Witch Craft?
Been Reading Rebel Witch by Kelly - Ann Maddox
I've always been spiritually attuned to my own rhythm, and a tad envious of wiccans because according to their beliefs they get to do magic, which is something I wanted to learn but in a way that isn't rooted in prior beliefs.
Essentially I wanted to create a magical culture, and partake in that, than join a pre-existing one. Because pre-existing things have their allure, yet for every cool thing there's usually rabbit-holes of nuanced baggage and history.
Some people like the rabbit holes, I normally love rabbit holes, but when it comes to my religious and spiritual tilts, I prefer to make up my own [of them]. Because I view the spiritual rabbit holes as open doors that moles and snakes and hobgoblins can use to ruin my good time, for example, if I burrowed a certain Tibetan water-wheel symbol without knowing how a very similar symbol was used in a very ugly war... ...I could lose friends, and accidentally hurt people. But if I start from scratch and make my own sacred symbols I don't have to worry about what nasties are hiding in an abandoned rabbit hole.
So whilst I was envious of wiccans it was a place of cautious envy, rather than any kind of resentment. I think they're cool. I also envy atheists, because I think they have a lot of self-control, given that faith and superstition are leanings that evolved as an evolutionary advantage we all just sort of have. If leaves rustle in the Sahara, it's better to assume something made them rustle, and to become cautious, than to assume that the leaves are rustling themselves. So to me, an atheist is someone whose like me, discarding what they don't need or want- even if the easiest path is right in front of them. I view that as a strong trait. Even if it means I can't have fun spiritual discussions with them anymore, outside the realm of the metaphysical or metaphorical. I still think they're cool. Because they did. They made their bodies to something they were evolved to be predisposed towards doing the opposite of. It's like they took fate by the reigns and said "I'm the boss now, fool!" so cool...
Anyways enough ranting about how witches and atheists are my favorite people, I like pagans too. You know what it's like having only one God? It's like having a best friend. Then spending eternity with that one friend, and never hanging out with any other friends, because your best friend gets jealous easy. Isn't that funny? That's why I love pagans. They have a healthy relationship, with what an atheist would call "Imaginary People", because they hang out with a healthy sized population of those people, and they are less likely to be stuck in toxic co-dependencies, since, imaginary or not: they have the support of a whole community of like beings, rather than a stifling isolating social affair with a single such being.
I like monotheists too... I mean, sorry for the roast. But I'm not envious of them like I often am of the folks who get to have so much fun.
So since you know my feelings on the matter of religions and spiritualities now, you know why I'm inviting you to join my religion, and or my coven.
My religion will just be an extension of my coven full of people I've never met. You only need to identify as a member to be a member.
My coven on the other hand will be anyone who identifies as a member of my religion but regularly hangs out with me, and the boundary between the two categories is liquid.
I may be the founder of the New Religious Movement but I just wanna fly at the front of the V formation, I don't wanna control which birds get to be a part of my flock, and when I'm gone, the flock may become a blob like starlings are known to do, or some compulsive liar may immediately claim to be a reincarnation of me or someone who I talk to when they visit the dream world- and then because of the psychological grandfather clause implicitly present in most social people's center of awareness- that compulsive liar may become the head of a new V formation, and depending on their motivations- they could stop there, or make the world a worse place with their social influence. So you know what? If I do reincarnate into this world after making this religion, and if I see fit to make changes; I'll just do what I'm doing now, and be envious of this religion, and then create a new one.
That way I can be spiritually free, and like-minded rebels can come join me then. it also means that anyone is free to do that, and probably hypothetically multiple people could claim to be my reincarnation, without producing a drag on the system, since the people I like join things on the basis of fun; rather than the basis of authority- which I deem, to be, lame. (you have to say it like I wrote it, the extra commas are pauses for comedic effect)
So, prospective cult member (not really a cult but they all say that so...) I posit to you, that since you know how to handle your future crisis of faith in the event that I your not-messiah but founder-I-guess? dies; you should keep reading, since it only gets better from here.
Origins of Everything:
Physicists have an "origin of everything too" but I'm a meta-physicist, so I'm talking about a bigger everything. Nothingness.
presuppositions:
-any self-contradictory item exists as an oscillator (such as a piezo electric circuit).
-anything undefined is all possible answers simultaneously given separate undefined clarifying questions which change the answer ie 0/0 is infinity 1 and 0 all at once depending on the context of the nature of the division and things being divided in question. ie physically cutting nothingness into two nothingness is indistinguishable from the starting state, but if you have to cut it until it is maximally cut, the answer is infinite, but if you are cutting the minimum number of times the answer is one. So the answer depends on specifics and without those specifics all possible answers are equally valid.
-anything in an extant state can be described as mathematics.
-all mathematics can be encoded into binary.
Nothingness is self contradictory, it is a thing that is not a thing therefore it is not a thing therefore it is a thing (and that loops for a really long good fun time). If there were ever only nothingness, it would oscillate, the speed of an oscillator is dependent on the material and energy within said oscillator, platonic nothingness is an undefined material, therefore its properties are undefined, therefore it has all properties all physical oscillators could have, and has them all simultaneously. A binary oscillator making all patterns all the time: encodes all things.
Nothingness is the real god.
The other gods are just people. Physically they're encoded in our brains, but metaphysically they're encoded as ideals and complex tapestries of histories like characters written in the language of worlds. Because all things means an omniverse. Even a world where a solo god created a world like this one. So monotheists could be right according to what I believe, but next time somebody says god is self-creating just remember that they're absolutely right because universes are self-creating and gods are just universes who happen to be people too; and there's a whole omnniverse out there. Metaphysically speaking.
Origin of Holidays:
Go to the fantasy calendar website using the button underneath my calendar, that button takes you to my calendar. purview the holidays and click on them to learn more about what they should mean to you personally if you choose to walk this path with me. Where do most of them come from: ancient pagan and wiccan holidays, celebrated the world round. Why is it a weird thirteen month three day week? Because 3 is the simplest number whose forward and backwards counts look different if you look at only 1-digit of them. basically in binary the least significant digit goes 01010101 both ways. but in ternary (that's 3) it goes 012012012 forward and 210210210 backwards. So I chose it because it was the simplest. I'm also superstitious about 3 being a good number in general. I chose the Jovian (Jupiter) Opposition as the key year marker, because that means that all of the other holidays slide in comparison to it- meaning that every year is truly different (I crave uniqueness) (everyday should be the exception to the norm except for every other day which should be the norm so that the exception to the norm can stand out). Then I made 3 numeric holidays which follow Jupiter and hence are fixed in this calendar, but slide out of phase by about a month every year on the standard 12 month calendar. I Chose the numeric holidays based off of coincidences. 2 of 2 is about even primes, because 2 is an even prime. 5 of 5 is about quasi-crystals because quasi-crystals are regular non-repeating units of 5. 7 of 7 is a fairy holiday because 7 of 7 anything is often seen as a powerful auspicious number and the star of the fairies is a 7 pointed star in some neopagan circles. I chose Jupiter as the big one because out in real outer space the darn thing/place is so massive that Jupiter doesn't orbit the sun; the sun, and Jupiter have mutually agreed to orbit around a spot off-center from the sun, because Jupiter was massive enough to actually compete in gravitational tug-of-war with sun, and throw it off axis a little bit. This is me anthropomorphisizing the planets, but Jupiter is a strong ally for us rebels. They rebelled against the sun and won. Worshipping the sun and moon is posh- everybody does it. but worshipping Jupiter? That requires knowledge of what makes Jupiter unique. it's only the third brightest thing in the sky, but it's a powerhouse, and you know that now.
Also most common holidays occur almost everyday of the week, pi, theta, delta. celebrating: constants, free-time, and change; in that recurring order, daily.
Symbology:
The symbols of this new coven/religion are simple. Your magic is like a phoenix, it ages with the length of the day and even enters the great beyond during Ashegg (a renamed longer lasting all hallows eve) (because phoenix ash is a phoenix egg get it? it's an ash-egg)- where your magic is in the great-beyond and the great-before simultaneously. The phoenix fire isn't literally fire magic, it's magic represented as flame. that's different. This religion equates magic to fire most of the time, because modern science knows all matter goes through liquid and solid phases, flame is merely a plasma form simple molecules- or in this case highly energized magic. So all year, the phoenix within us is gowing through the life cycle, but at what feels random, it meets up with Jupiter, The Sun is a pheonix, it's flame is the strongest there is and it's life cycle is predictable; but Jupiter is a dragon, its flame is the wildest there is, and it's completely mysterious (atleast at the time of this writing circa 2022 gregorian) (year 0 Jovian) (month/day/year 02/05/00 Jovian). When the dragon is in the night sky it combines with your inner phoenix, creating an awesome phoenix*dragon hybrid. Phoenixes age in an endless cycle. This dragon doesn't, so your inner phoenix rejuvenates during this time, and your magic becomes wilder and more powerful.
Lunar Cycles
Luna (the moon) to me, represents all lunar goddesses and gods simultaneously, when lit is a window that shines the light of our world into their godly domains and allows them to gaze down from the sky at us, if you so welcome it, and to protect or guide us, without directly intervening in our fates. The lunar cycles are the godly cycles, whilst all pantheons have their various gateways to our world, the moon is the biggest and brightest, and the Lunar deities have the best seat in the house. Your own deified version of yourself from some other world where you achieved godhood, or the multiple worlds where you have or always were; their connection, your share of their power, your exterior divine power, and connection to exterior divine beings grows stronger on full moons. Think of the moon's reflection of the sun, as spiritual wifi. The signal is strongest on a full moon. New moons are figurative "spiritual wifi" dead-zones.
Is it real?
It's real in the headspace. Have you ever been out of the head space? Because people who feel like they are out of the head space, are usually just tripping out inside the head space. You can't be you, and be outside of the headspace. You headspace, therefore you are. Things in your headspace have power over how you feel. At the end of the day when hummanity colonizes outerspace any and all religions will become worship of a long forgotten past, including this one, the natural cycles they center around will have to be tallied by accurate clocks with long memories for someday we won't have a home. Even if we defeat climate change- the sun is still going to eat earth one day, and the core of the planet is still going to cool off one day, which will delete the ionic force field that shields us from stellar death rays. So someday, assuming we're still here- our natural cycles won't be.
But that's what this religion is all about, Jupiter doesn't play nice with earthly cycles- I needed a fantasy calendar because regular calendar apps just aren't made with 359 day reoccurrences in mind.
I'm rebelling against time, because one day- the definition of "time" is going to be out of date anyways, and us rebels will be the first ones to think big picture. Who cares if a lap across the imaginary line between Jupiter and the sun is how we tally our years, or if we tally our years as billions of oscillations of a cesium atomic clock. It's about what cycles you become attuned too.
Jupiter is still there, and most of us are still here. I say we enjoy that while it lasts, because someday- you'll have to pretend they're there. maybe an immortal android you, or a reincarnated you, but you'll miss em. you'll lose your home. the universe will grow cold. I'm just inviting you to do some rituals with me because it's a fun way to get out of the house and let your mind wander. It's real. Jupiter is real. Your feelings are real. Come play this religion game with me. Or let's be a coven. I don't care. I'm bored, I want friends. enjoy the calendar I used. I may not update it, but that's okay. 2022 gregorian is year 0 jovian. use the solstices and the moon phases to find the current date or approximate date. I tried to make it as accurate as possible. Email me with any inaccuracies you notice or concerns about the time you may have. Come join my "cult" let's all play pretend together and be spiritual and see what comes of it. Let's slide with the Dragon Solstice and roll with the 3 day weeks and 13 month years. Someday- let's build a community and experiment with living with 3 day weeks. Or better yet- let's roleplay a 3-day week calendar system, so that we can be safe about it. Or let's carefully research how self-sustaining communities assign labor, and then fit that into our calendrical system as a social experiment and hire sleep and productivity professionals to observe us during the experiment to see how superior or inferior our altered socio-chronological patterns effect our psyches like an opt-in social experiment!!!
What is magic?
members of this coven/religion/cult believe magic, "magic" is any consequence proceeding from any intention.
There are 3 broad magical results:
-successful
-rogue
&
-strange
successful magic is as it sounds, when the fruits of your intentions produce a desired or intended consequence. rogue magic is when the consequence of your intentions is undesired. strange magic is harder to describe, but roughly equates to situations where the desired consequence is achieved in a roundabout way which includes undesirable or unforeseen consequences as well.
-this means that if you make a choice, you are doing magic, and if that choice results in what you want you have done successful magic, if it results in unforeseen good things you have done strange magic, and if it results in the opposite of what you want or in unforeseen bad things you have done rogue magic.
Places of worship
There are 3 holy places of worship for members of our coven; this website. Any print out of the current year's jovian calendar. Or the flying spaghetti monster website. That last one is important, because religion is just psychological and sociological play. It's like a Ouija board, did somebody kick the table or was it one of our gods? but just like a Ouija board, which are forbidden in my house for this reason: it's easy for your mind to scare itself when you play these kinds of games. That's why it's important to remember the lessons of the flying spaghetti monster, and to not take things too seriously.
Fringe hopes
I hope aliens are real and have wireless room temp super-conduction brain-scanning nueralink-like devices and faster than light travel and that when someone in our religion is doing their practice, they come across the aliens psychically and then aliens use their spaceship and their wireless nueralink-like style brain interfaces to let the member of our religion launch fireballs and stuff!! Yeah!!! will it happen? probably not, for a number of reasons, but keep doing your magic, maybe one day you'll wind up getting brain-scanned by a hyper advanced visiting civilization while doing it, and some cool new symbiotic friendship will form and they'll let you use the tractor beam to psychically fold your own laundry and lift heavy furniture effortlessly and stuff, you dunno... ...it COULD happen... ...maybe... ...gee I hope space aliens are already here, that would be such a relief, because then maybe we could play some of their videogames if we run out of stuff to do, ya know?
ps: sorry if I offended you. I care about your feelings... ...to an extent. I am human... we think. (I might be one of those weird alien hybrids though I mean I am pretty weird but they'd probably deny it and be like "no, the earthlings can keep that one"). All jokes aside I'm like 90% sure I'm human, so mellow out and remember our species wouldn't be human if it didn't make mistakes (because then we'd be cats).
sign up sheet
Limitations
Please only join if you're willing to follow the following code of conduct
Jovian Coven
Now you know how to be a Jovian Witch
This is a coven and a religion. our full name is Nia's Jovian Coven (to differentiate us from other jovian covens) or The Jovian Coven (in smaller circles)
Join the coven. Help make the world a better place with your innate magicks. Worship the solar lunar and jovian cycles. Have a holiday every day of the year.
I don't know if you looked at our calendar, but every 3 days is pi, every other three days is theta and every other other 3 days delta. Each one of those three is a holiday, and they repeat endlessly except for on the last day of the week of certain leap years where you get special holidays. there are also overlapping holidays, so that you can celebrate a holiday everyday, and occasionally celebrate multiple holidays at once. Because life and love are better when celebrated. Only other members of this coven will be celebrating alongside you, so it will boost your uniqueness 100-fold. Also, although I am the official time-keeper of this religion- I was methodical in my construction of the calendar, so if anything happens to me, it is still possible to extrapolate out the current date, by finding which year on my calendar the Dragon Solstice coincides with the opposition of Jupiter in relation to one of the other solstices or equinoxes. Also you'll age slower by a month in accordance with this calendar. I'm 24 in gregorian years as of this writing but in 12 years I'll only be 35 in Jovian instead of 36 in Gregorian. I could probably backwards calculate to find my true "Jovian age" if I wanted to, by finding the Jovian opposition of the year I was born, and then going to a negative year on the Jovian Calendar and marking it as my birthday, and then tallying each year until the present. I'd be a lot younger, you lose about a month off your age every year, so approximately (doing math) 24 divided 13/12... ...i'd be... 22. Not bad, I'd shaving off 2 years. so 22 is my approximate Jovian age, and 24 is my Gregorian age. It only gets better the older you are. Honestly I more closely identify with my Jovian age, so I think my mind has been on "Jovian time" long before I invented our new calendar system.
I had to invent a new calendar by the way because modern calendar apps as of this writing didn't allow me to make a repeating event on a 359 day cycle, of which the Dragon Solstice approximately operates, so because of culturally enforced technological limitations, my worship was being harmed and negatively impacted by modern calendar apps. I hope someday the makers and updaters of these apps become more open-minded, because I don't wish this "time cage" upon anyone else. So let's rebel together.
Death
Where do you go when you... when you... die?
Because Nothingness is The Great Oscillator which encodes all forms of data perpetually, not only do you exist in this form, however countless others of the same mind and experience exist which are indistinguishable from you.
These are called Mind-Doppelgangers.
There are infinite Mind-Doppelgangers of you, beings whose sole experience is identical to your own but whose being is wholly separate, some are entire universes hallucinating an exact replica of your life. Others are just someone in another world whom hit their head and briefly concocted a fictitious identity identical to your own.
If you think of your life like a line, these doppelgangers are tubes which sheath this line, a ring whose diameter is a single point in width. a true point has zero width, so for visual purposes if you imagine the cross-section of your life's history has point, and you imagine that point as a small circle; this ring is around that point and made of infinite small circles. in actuality this ring and that point, are in the same location, despite mathematically being described in two wholly separate ways. this is because it's infinitesimal donut of souls around an infinitesimal donut hole representing you.
So what happens to YOU when you die? from an outside observer's standpoint you just rot unless you're lucky enough to be cryogenically preserved in which case you just rot at an infinitesimal rate.
But from your perspective as a data structure you simply realize you are one of these other beings whom make up the ring of souls piggybacking off of your core experience.
it is unclear whether your individual beliefs can sculpt the probabilities of which point among the infinite points in the ring you become in the end or not. Albeit there is a nonzero chance that your belief is core to what you are as a conscious identity which may shift the scales of what types of beings in the infinite possibilities could become you. I.E if you believe in a grape soda god, you will get infinite selection of grape soda flavored afterlives which may vary in specificity but which all equally live up to the core aspects of your belief; of which you will become one.
So to summarize you are a branch off of infinite yous (plural) whom all share a root begining.
but each branch is sheathed in a ring composed of several other branches with different roots.
from a cross-sectional viewpoint, the line of your life is like a point.
when you die the point is continued by a ring that branches out.
To put it more poetically, each of us is like a tree, with significant choices creating branches, but all sharing the same root (your conception).
but every moment of our lives is orbited by a ring of branches from other roots, which just so happen to perfectly resemble our life in that moment from one or more perspectives.
To put it technically, the "tree" is actually a bunch of straight lines, whose apparently shared root is actually a moment of apparent unity, which varies by how closely you look. And the curves that branches that are just the category of events curving and the lifeline staying straight. So timelines "branch" when two or more indistinguishable universes become distinguishable at a point in history. I say "history" not time, because all times are the present from an undefined perspective and outside of time all times are history. So predeterminism and the branching multiverse theory are both true depending on your perspective. Depending how you sort the data familiar landmarks may occur at the same point in history from vastly different roots, even the universe had a conception, and for every conception there are parallels conceptions and voids in history where that conception occurred. This means there are infinite alternate roots which correspond by all pertinent measures which moments from any given root. When a branch ends, this sheath of identical branches from alternate roots begins to continuate that branch by branching out from the ring which represents the cross section of the sheath of branches from alternate roots.
To put it plainly: when you die you roll an infinite sided dye, and it's unclear if your beliefs can give that dye weight.
To illustrate it one final time, the end of the line is a ring, and from that ring innumerable branches arise.
When you die, your root changes (likely randomly) but you keep on going somewhere beyond the universe (perhaps if people who reincarnate into the same world are to be believed they've gone so far beyond the universe at to come full circle and reincarnate as a different root but in the same universe).
(universes are like trees too with roots and branches and beings living inside them are like arboreal plants whom live their lives rooted in the branches of some tree somewhere, it's fractal).
